Desperate MEasures

There was once an unemployed, married couple. The bills kept coming in and they decided it was time for desperate measures. The wife would have to go on the game, with the hubbie as pimp. So they take off for the red light district and find a likely spot. Hubbie waits 'round the corner out of sight while she shows a bit of leg. Soon enough a car crawls by. It stops up the street, then reverses back towards her. The window winds down and she gets the ball rolling.

"Evening, love. Can I help you?"

"Er....yeah...er...how much for a w*nk?" says the man, in a state of nervous excitement. "Only I haven't got much money, see."

"Just a minute," she says and scuttles round to ask her husband. "Here, how much should I charge for a w*nk?"

"I don't know," he says. "A fiver, I guess."

Back she goes and tells the young man, "Five pounds for a good w*nk, love."

He says, "OK, and ...er...how much for a blowj*b then?"

"Just a minute....." Round she goes again and asks her husband for the price.

"A blowj*b? Well, gotta be a tenner." 

Back she goes to the car and duly reports, "Ten pounds'll get you the best bj you've ever had, darlin'."

Says the man, "Oh, right. And for a shag, how much would that be?"

"Just a minute....." etc. etc.

Soon she's back at the car, feeling a little tired. "Well it's twenty quid for a full shag."

The young man looks disappointed and says, "Oh dear, I've only got fifteen pounds on me. I'll have a blowj*b then."

So the woman gets in the car and he whips out his manhood. The colour drains from the woman's face. It's like a baby's arm holding an apple!

"Just a minute" she says, and scuttling back to her husband says, "Quick, love, lend us a fiver!"